Life is too short. And at the same time the world is equally endless. Imagine how much time went into where you are today. Every piece of your episodic memory that you can recall, along with the fragments in between… It’s a lot, and to think, you’re standing right here. Realizing that you are literally made of time is so surreal. Being yourself for someone and spending time with one another is the best thing you can do for each other. You putting in time to develop your relationships - which allow you to feel true affinity and appreciation - means to put a part of your every being and letting it converge with someone else’s. So when you have a chance at love, whether to give or receive, keep in mind: with all that there is to see, all that there is to taste, all the sounds you can hear, the people you can meet, experiences you can have, things you can touch… That special person has their energy, thoughts and time devoted to you. Wasting their time, is really in effect, wasting their opportunity to be all they can be.

Sitting here like am I lonely? 
Watching everybody watching me nodding with my headphones in
I fear going deaf yet all I have is this music…
Passed a beautiful girl today, but I did yesterday too
Did nothing, I guess I’m used to it
Surrounded in a crowd, do I wanna feel translucent?
Search for my personality or glance through it
A chance to a new destination, yet we take the same route
Maybe he’s quiet, hoping to hear his lost love shout his name out
One time…sunshine blaring through the glass…
I wonder what’d they do if I screamed
What’d they do since I seemed normal
Make eye contact until they see horror
Or smile, maybe they’ll return the feeling
But some don’t wanna hurt, so feeling
Is out of the question even though it works like breathing
Hold it in long enough and you succumb to a bigger gasp
In this case the feeling is a bigger grasp
Thinking about a different past, but I should focus on a different path
Envy that mother’s baby like I can live and laugh too
But the best I can give you is what’s in my hands
My hand itself, take it or I applaud you
Routine travel, I have longed to…
Drift away, precipitation outside…
And I’m guessing that love strays… just like my thoughts
Something I forget every time I get on the subway

See I’ll admit I’m afraid to live a life without love
To live at heights I’m not accustomed to
Maybe I deserve better than myself
Or maybe I gotta better myself
The questions aren’t clear, making the answer’s escape
Be thankful for the sky, or dance in the rain?
Search for love? Do I hold back or just sate?
Simply just live, or learn? Where there’s rapture, there’s pain
Capture the panes of my temperament
And with every action, I hope that my ethos echoes
Cause only your legacy will say what forever meant
And with every word, I hope you can relate to my sentiments
I learned with wounds, time won’t normally heal
Just with every cut, every gash, your mind won’t totally feel
Looking back, I think I’m pretty much free from the stuff
Wide scope has me seeing some stuff, when before
I’d see myself as big as what I see in a cup
Cusp of a phase, begin anew, I’m out with me and myself
Like two doves in a cage, no longer stuck to this day
Spent most of my life finding me
So I’m not accustomed to chase, so before this crush dissipates
I think its justification for me to put lust in its place for your feelings

Just know it’s all perspective
And that might be the line that splits love and the hate
Friends will empathize with your problems
Enemies will envy your life when you solve them
I’m known to survive, ‘cause I’m bottling up things
And yeah, I say I oughta be fine, but I’m probably bluffing
See, its not the amount of time, but the quality of it
So spend it like there’s no tomorrow, ‘cause the quantity’s nothing
See life is a circle and it means you stay assertive
In certain circumstances
And we all deserve a chance in happiness
If it hurts, so if the opportunity demands work
Would you desert your chances?

I Just know it’s all perspective
Growth is suffering, so be glad it’s tough
No one ever emerges unhurt from war
The wrong people won’t get you til they’ve had enough
But the right ones will always search for more
Steady wondering who’d love an individualist
I long for the day I find who that individual is
Inconspicuous is how they say that love creeps
And whether I’m destined to it or not, I’ll take it humbly
You share the laughs while every day is sunny
If they don’t eat, you both are staying hungry
Too many problems to care if they’ve came or coming
Maybe the right one would raise them from me
But you’ll always find pain in anticipation
With just eight letters, and half as much in your patience
One less for passion, now that’s either wordplay or truth
But I just wanna know…am I worthy of you?

I just know it’s all perspective
All company isn’t forever; learn to sing in its scantiness
Every moment you spend with others, cherish it
Celebrate those who bring you some happiness
Just don’t forget to love whom you can share it with
Takes great courage to confide in oneself
But even greater courage to confide in others 

An Aquarius, so its only right that I gotta breathe
Now that I’ve exhaled, take in my reality, my perspective

The sky is only as blue as you feel, that’s not all true, is it?
Sometimes painting a lie is altruistic
Young minds could hear all, but who’s listening
I’m finding the antidote’s in the anecdotes revisited
See I’m finally finding solace in solitude
Sold my solipsism for some soliloquies
So listen in, self-hate can take away the right to express
Now twelve pages has let me write to express
It’s why I don’t think I can pursue music and lyrics
Can’t capitalize off something worth more than youtube views and the critics
Selling units in shipments, but still, who isn’t gifted?
It cures my blues when I’m sitting, helps me muse when I’m livid
Yet I remain obtuse and indifferent
No need for loot, its provision enough - it keeps me going
So how is making a soul move any different?
Just know I relate to those who repent, and feel stale
In the audience you watch, you regret every stage
Buy some clothes just so you can reject any pain
But I hardly stare in the mirror, I reflect everyday
Repair empty states of feeling, and through healing
I relent every strafe till they respect every stain
Be hardheaded, but in any argument, we started it
Real friends give discouragement with their heart in it
Although I so could
They’re the only ones who see I’m too stubborn for my own good
They see me as my own threat, to my own self
Does that make me a fool? I know what’s worse for me
Or maybe they don’t like to watch, because it hurts to see
Never underestimate your actual attributes as a person
Your affect won’t show in how they act to you up in-person
So while I don’t show it off, you’re held high at grand ranks
And though I don’t show it all, before I die, I’ve planned thanks
Anne Frank said once: feeling somewhat lonely
Stems from not being someone’s one and only
So I turn up the music just to plug the loathing
At night I stay up, just stay up and hoping
But thought - being lonely means nobody but you - loves you
So can you love yourself, if you let no one love you?
That’s my mantra to romance, and if I had any girl in the world
That I can laugh with and hold hands, and let her know that
She stands with a bold man, who could’ve packed up and roamed back
But in fact, she’d have brought my phantoms to point blank
Feelings I couldn’t fathom on notepads
Made my fears as real as every atom a rose has
To see the beauty as anatomies, souls match
But every fantasy comes with a tantrum, you quote fact
Reality to the forefront reminds me I’m all that counts
Every time I’m down, I won’t crawl, I bounce
Now with more worth in myself, I’m dangerously rich
Different kind of wealth, went it comes to change just keep it
My Grandma wants me to visit the church and
Come witness the sermon
Saying if I don’t, Satan will bring me evil instead
And how I’ll face demons at death
Then she asked if I believed her
I said I believe in me and myself
I stopped praying thinking if I call god, he’ll come help
My hope died with my lust for attention and
My love for affection, so now I just talk to myself
Keep my headphones tight and just walk by myself
‘Cause gripes, grudges and grief will make you age in seconds
That’s why I never dwell on the past more than my age in seconds
Internalize my problems so much I forget about them
Til they resurface in life and I’m back here scribbling out things
Or I go through life living in nonchalance
And in case it called, I’ve written up a response

Probably gona post some stuff I’ve been trying to finish… So, if you didn’t know poetry is my thing, immerse yourself in my blog. lol      

If you knew you’d be gone next month
Would you regret or repent, try to reset or respect your steps crumbs?
A question they asked me, I kept the thought to myself
And coughed in good health, and I just stood there laughing
Its hard to reflect on what could’ve happened
But even harder when you know what should’ve happened
Life is what you feel when you feel like calling it quits
Making it hard to be devoted and keep going when you see opposition
Keep optimism in the worst case of uncertainty
So you’ll never turn in face of adversity
Pace yourself vertically, persevere til you’re the only person here
You can be that voice and shout to make every person hear
That’s the difference between a stepping and mile stone
How all the stress makes a smile strong
The difference between the return and escape
A sense of meaning to what makes it worth the mistakes
Searching for that feeling of bliss, im about being, not riches
Our vision wouldn’t seek the same beam in existence
My experience with being enriched and you being the richest
Is a big difference between the real and materialistic
So whoever think it’s the trinkets in life that buy wealth is fooled
I been self-reflecting, seeing more in myself than myself in school
Well its cool, since there’s value in life’s treasures
Which measures life better than life’s pleasures

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Everyday I send one, frail, faint and weak
To bring love to the beloved I seek
To bring truth to the words I speak
Yet uncontrollable when released from my beak
No tweaks, no peeks, sealed until the time comes
Designed to fulfill dreams, wrapped with hope of the finest
But I must confess, sometimes my gift isn’t the best
With all the times the present wasn’t complete, put it to rest
But I wont, I try and try and try and try
Blood, sweat and tears that I placed into perfection, why?
So that she knows all was done to make it, and see u smile
While, me on the end, waiting, emotions riled
Because this gift was not like the others, its cluttered
With all the words I stuttered and uttered
Again like no other, but I wonder, will u be there to take it
And shake it, anticipate it, and hope for it to be mistaken
As a miracle? So here it goes, I pause…delay, expect and await your reaction
What’s that hun? You hate it? But that’s not fair! 
I swear, I cared, prepared for it, but where’s the satisfaction?
Ok, relax some. What did I do wrong with this one? 
Its too late…cant you just fake it? Pretend that it’s the greatest?!
Oh, I see, I took too long and it broke on the way here
Stay here, stay clear, return to sender, cant you even keep it for a year?
But hey dear, I ruined it during delivery, I rushed, its my fault
I’m all out of excuses, don’t worry I know the way out…
I never thought I would see something like this
My present was sent amiss, broken – a broken promise

when u make a promise, its a gift u send that may break on the way

He wishes companionship, sick of abandonment
Fit in or have to sit alone, away from the kids who laugh at him
Gets his lunch from the lady whos apt to quit
Working in the cafeteria, third class citizen with only half the wit
But has to pay for her mother’s surgery
No support from her brother whos in court
For another burglary and perjury
He wouldn’t snitch, just for the lust of burberry
Certainly, his lawyer’s stressed, he employs himself
Through his practice, active for like five years
He’s owed his wealth to the lowest felonious, coldest men
With a lower sentence he exploits them well
Void of sense, crooked, look at all the innocent
He’s supposed to be a voice for them
But they cant hear in a holding cell enclosed in jail
Sadly his joy is hell, and why is this lawyer stressed
He knows his wife’s cheating, he even
Found a condom on the floor, below the desk
She enjoys the sex cuz he isn’t at home to show respect
So she just blows the checks, blows the next door neighbor
He could divorce her yet ruins the lives of others
Just to boast himself at the bar where he goes to gloat and tell
In hopes to relate to the bartender
With an eviction notice on her apartment up
Her boyfriend left and she cant afford to spend
Or cover for that heartless fuck
Stuck on the same page in life and this part just sucks
Scarred from love, plus her tips at the bar end up
In her boss’ pockets, a loss of profit
Working minimum wage, all shes gots a locket
From her momma - broke but doesn’t want to pawn it
Shes scared to beg, wants her job but cautious
But see her boss’ logic is to mitigate the bullying
Of his son, by teenaged berating hooligans
He wishes to change the school hes in
Before he caves, aloof to the pain and beauty in
The world, word, we all come from different walks of life
The road makes us livid in heart, mental images dark
With dimmer figments and thoughts on life
But every swing in the dark is for that single shot at light
Sometimes we cry about our problems but don’t we all
He got problems, shes does too, but don’t we all

Witnessing the very pain, would you change the globe
If you could? I know of some who would give up their change
In exchange for hope, but nope their wisdom is waste
When they’re willing to wave the world’s
Worth, we’re in an age where the truth is owed and ridden
Til oh good riddance, its overwritten to slain and hold
And deprave the soul of its taste, and so
We pray they wont crumble or succumb to the evil
Hidden under the media’s hunger and earfuls
Fearful, and I wonder, this legal? I could easily number the people
Tired of trying to encumber it, feeble
One day they will discover the regal
Roots, and soon I’ll be at slumber and peaceful
It could come down to hummers and eagles brandished, branding a war
Between the talented poor and the ravenous
Advantageous corporations and the radio
Cuz the ratio of craft isn’t balanced at all
And to all the kids stuck in the streets
Where a bluff is a beef, with the ruckus the beat downs
Surrounded by all the drugs and deceit
Don’t ever tuck in your dream, just fluff em and keep
Daydreaming, stay scheming and chasing it
Until its nothing but real, once there- don’t ever stop
Cuz once you’ve adjusted your feet, part of the top
Is knowing you come from those not accustomed to eat
A trumpeter’s speech or as close to it, I just wanna be heard
But right now Im like a raindrop in a pond with these words
See it dawned on me first, that’s the problem, these herds
Are following what they are taught to prefer
Deterred from allowing the pot to be stirred
So excuse me if I sound harsh, I got to be stern
They’re living as property first, kept in from steppin that’s second
Meaning that they’ll get their autonomy third
And probably dirt when they ought to be learning
About God or how we got this green earth
Or maybe I’m talking absurd with dismal vision
In an abysmal rhythm, a cycle, I need to be prideful
Of the signal blinking for better days or wetter rain
Whichever way it is all I got is this wishful thinking

The ones who always got nothing to hide, show something
All those that rarely speak, will rarely force something
The biggest egos feel though as if theyre owed something
Until they power trip and fall weak to their shortcomings
The pain sits then change is heard coming
Only fear of running will tell you its worth something
But I gotta stay brave in the heart
As I remain courageous and daunt
Degrading through songs
But going against the grain is just an invitation to mock
Berating remarks, I feel betrayed and Im lost
This isn’t the brigade that I want
Hiphops becoming forsaken and flawed
Its in need of saving from fault
Safe in a vault, we ought to repay it to Pac
Cuz theyre sending messages, words aimless to stop
Persuading to wrong doing, but I can see through all the fakeness
Charades and facades, arrayed in the plot
Depraving the young, pervading the thoughts
Of teenagers who watch as the curvaceous put on
Faces, masquerading to flaunt limitless images portrayed in the box
Their brain’s decayed and theyre taught
To go playing along with this tirade full of fraud
To raid and debauch yet these dames aren’t distraught
The men are just as delayed in response
Latent to wake, when imitations belong away from their wants
Shameless they nod, we might as well tell them to
Parade in the dark with grenades in their palms
Until their words are reverberating and haunt
Us, we need some vertebrae to revert the ways to the start
Rebirth from chains and the charts, that isn’t the meaning to sell
They out here begging for shine, that’ll be the reason they melt-
Down, on my knees I used to pray and plead for some wealth
Til I took the cross off the chain, now the only thing I believe ins myself
I’ll dwell in my freedom and health
So give me some personal space, see Im searchin for change
Feeling like a bird in a cage with its courage encased

I purge on this page, the pain, hoping to you
That this verse aint in vain, wondering if it’ll be worth it today
See the world’s missing grace at a worsening rate
Girls go from a virginal state to terminal aids
Getting played, weakening her and her faith
So then her worth gets appraised
And then he speaks of love, watch his words get a praise
All because she feels her curvature’s plain
Now it burns when it rains, giving birth to my rage
Or maybe I’ve much yet to learn at this age
But how can they nurture behaviors, how can they further and fain feign
They’re fake, how urgent til they wake up from all the murders and hate
We gotta refurnish their brains, refurbish their way
Too busy worshipping, they should be disturbed in some way
Near permanent bane, pertinent blame
Falls on all of these rappers splurging away
On strippers who can twerk it and shake
Purchasing chains, some fur and their fame
They might as well throw detergent and dirt in my face
Not speaking is more than a hurtful mistake
But “hey I got out the hood and ill never have to work for some change”
We’ll learn if its fate, for now that’s just the way it is